I’m listening to lots of podcasts right now; while pushing a sleeping baby around, rocking a stubborn baby to sleep etc.
I’ve gotten myself knee deep in Giovanna Fletcher’s Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast. In the podcast she talks to lots of creative people, for examples famous actors, writers, musicians and DJs, about parenthood and careers. Many want/need to continue with their work soon after the baby is born and I’m finding the conversations really inspiring. But they also make me ask the question “Do they have extra help?”.
It’s not in any way about judgement. I think we should all do what feels right for us and our families and if someone has access to additional support, whether that’s relatives, friends or paid professionals, that’s great. Even those of us that don’t have an international singing career can do with some extra help sometimes!
Instead I keep pondering the question more from a point of transparency because most of the time it isn’t mentioned and it would be sort of comforting to know. Of course it’s easier to be productive if there’s an extra pair of hands on standby whenever you need it. And if you don’t have access to external support, then maybe it’s time to cut yourself some slack and not compare yourself to those who (maybe) do? Comparison is pointless anyway because we all have different starting points and goals and we just do the best we can.
Here’s my situation: For the past few weeks I’ve been able to do some work on my novel because my future mother in law has been visiting on Thursday afternoons to spend some time with E. I’ve felt very lucky to be able to take that time to myself, but it’s also been an emotional challenge to step back (let go of control) and accept the help. I think many of us do struggle to say yes to support even when it’s offered.
Or is that just me?
Thank you for reading!
Xx
Madicken Malm 
Ah nice blog!
Not just you though, I resonate a lot with the point accepting the help offered or ask for help when it comes to the child care specially when it’s free! Not feeling okay with accepting the help whether that’s to do with the fact that I am a worrier and thinking maybe no one else can care for my child the same way as I do or maybe that my baby won’t settle well with the carer even if they’re the close family members or that’s me because don’t want to trouble people. I do know I need to find a balance or I will be burnt out, getting help and having a me time is so important. I also don’t know how some mums go back to their professions so quickly after giving birth, I mean I take my hat off to them, that’s a hell of a multitasking and achievement.x
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Thank you Parisa!
I recognise many of those thoughts. It can be really difficult even when you know the carer has your baby’s best interests at heart. Like so many other things, it will come with time and you have to do what feels best for you right now. But do make sure to take care of yourself!
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This resonated a lot. I don’t have any extra help with no family nearby but if I did, I think I would feel a lot of “mum guilt”. I have started to do
me thing this week though with a new crochet project so still seeking that creative balance even if I have to do it in short bursts in between naps 🙂
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That’s great to hear, Lucy1 I love a good crochet project. 🙂 It might take you a bit longer to finish, but I can imagine it will have a special place in your heart when you do.
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