There’s a personality trait I’ve been thinking about a lot recently; patience. I’m not a patient person. I like to get things done now. I like to find solutions to problems now. Now, however, I’m constantly having to wait for a suitable window to do even half the things I need or want to do and it can feel incredibly frustrating.
It’s been quite sobering to realise just how impatient I can be both with myself, the realities of having a baby (I can’t overthink this post because I’m very much writing it under time pressure) and working on larger projects like the novel. Nature or nurture? Have I always been like this or did I just get used to being the master of my own time over the 38 years of not being a mother?
Either way I need to practice because when I feel impatient, I also feel a lack of control and that leads to anxiety. Anxiety in turn can be debilitating and make me waste the opportunities I do have. I also have to be realistic. Time will never be 100% my own again even if things do improve bit by bit. Despite that, I will finish the novel. It might just take a bit longer than I like. But I’m the only one putting pressure on me. So. Patience.
Thank you for reading!
Xx
Madicken Malm 